This wait at the doctor’s has become familiar
I watch people pass by – at first with some company
Now, I brave the fluorescent waiting room alone.
Some are elated at a new discovery
Some have faraway looks in their eyes.
But everyone, I’d like to think hangs onto hope
What if it works, What if it was a report misread
So many what ifs and could bes and shouldn’t bes.
If my phone could talk, she’d testify the hours of battery I’ve drained
Waiting. One more day. One more time.
I can almost taste the Malibu & Coke
The salt on my skin.
The light from a rusty old lamp
Perfect for hiding my hot cheeks
.
.
Beep
“I’m back, how has your day been?”
Beep
“Welcome back, perfect now”
.
.
“Forgive me but have we met?
You seem oddly familiar”
“Allow me to introduce myself.
I’m the girl you’ll fall for, but never have the courage to tell”
.
.
Good Morning, Miss Sunlight.
Best message received. Ever.
.
.
I still have that black dress
From the night we first met
After months of just talking
Meeting you, was like coming home
.
.
“I’m back and I’m starving. Where are you? Work?”
“Welcome back. Yes. Drop in at office. We have pol sambol and paan!”
“What will your friends think if I come?”
In my heart – “That I’m the luckiest girl in the world”
What I typed – “Nothing”
.
.
And just like that,you married her
The one you said you’d never touch with a barge pole.
And just like that, I loved him true
I am the gin to his tonic
You were my weekend alcoholic.
.
.
Did it make things easier?
The 6 year radio silence?
Coz if it did, then I forgive you.
.
.
“Walking to the gate. I hate this walk. Everyone stares”
“Have you really looked at people? Don’t you recognise the stare? What do you see? Look again”
“I can’t stare back at people just like that…”
“Oh god you’re right. How did you know?”
” 🙂 “
.
.
“Just got in. On the way to the airport. What’s your day looking like tomorrow?”
“Just boarded. Talk to u when we touch down 🙂 ”
“Just landed. What’s up?”
.
.
I wasn’t the empty canvas you wanted to paint. Did my ambition scare you? Did you also know, you were a love I’d have crossed oceans for.
I remember what it used to be like
On nights like this.
When the alcohol flowed freely
And you twirled a cigarette in your fingers
While he twirled my hair in his.
C and I celebrate another milestone today – half a decade since we got married. I am excited and also a bit in awe that we made it this far.
5 years later, C still elicits the warm and fuzzies. With his dopey grin and perennially sunny nature, he is a lumbering tower of optimism and complements my comparatively safe approach to life. The yin to my yang. In retrospect, the memories I have and hold dear and the little goal posts we’ve passed along the way, I honestly couldn’t think of anyone I’d rather have done it with.
I will always be the bottle opener to his beer bottle and he will always be the boy who stole my heart.
Happy 5 bublot ♡
To my friend,
I hope you are at peace.
And that angels took you home.
I hope you get to look down on your family and watch your babies grow.
But most of all, I wish you the peace of life everlasting and eternal in the father’s hands.
I recently read an article about how Gen-Y look for job fulfillment vs security doing a stable but boring profession.
Right now I’m seated at a production house, the place reeks of stale cigarette smoke and coffee. I see people my age, perhaps even younger walking about in jeans; work stations covered with their personal effects – pics of family, art, cartoons, doodles even an odd potted plant and a whole bunch of vintage pieces that gives the place its odd quirky vibe. Palming it off to the industry and the relative liberalism it comes with, I started chatting to a colleague who tells me he’s moving out on his own. A pretty senior guy too. That conversation shed light on another colleague who had just given resignation to start his own thing as well. Both citing that they’d had enough of the corporate rat race and were done working for others. Some more thought had me realising that practically 90% of the team I used to work with have moved out. Some on their own and some to other careers.
It got me thinking about this article and how the facts were true – even all the way here in sunny SL. It probably won’t bode well for employers – losing skilled experienced employees. But then again I’m reminded of the old adage that no one’s indispensable. Companies will survive, albeit with high attrition if this trend is anything to go by, economies will adapt and go on. Where do I stand in this equation? My bohemian heart and drill sergeant brain can’t seem to find common ground really.
I just realised that I hardly write about cooking, which I happen to enjoy very much. I’m not the type who will cook rice and curry everyday and my close friends don’t find it strange anymore when they find me nursing a large steaming vat of Watalappan at 10pm in the night.
My cooking style is a mix of recipe book inspiration, ammi’s classics, impromptu fix-its and methods of making the mundane a little more interesting. I’m also a little crazy about presentation and will find any excuse to buy that-square-ceramic-plate-that-is-2cm-smaller-than-the-one-I-already-own. The hub has given up on my glassware obsession 🙂 So here’s a peek at some of the goodies.
Waffles – my fav!
Penang curry with steamed rice and accompaniments
Poya day rice and curry fix
Roast and veggies tray bake
Maalupaan
Triple chocolate cake
Dynamite cheese toast – hangover remedy for hub 🙂
Huevos rancheros – basically eggs cooked in simmered meat and tomato sauce
Stuffed aubergines
The quintessential Kiribath,lunumiris and curry
Fluffy pancake stacks – I served this up with golden syrup. Such a hit!
Banana oatmeal muffins
Leftover roast lamb sliders
Spaghetti and Meatball cups – great recipe to try with kids
Hoppers – such a feather in cap moment with this one 🙂
Pol pani pancakes
Penne casserole
Board dinners – basically chicken and veggies with a side of garlic bread
Breakfast at home on weekends is generally a fun affair. This was a day that everything came together and looked pretty on table 🙂
A few more dishes I want to try my hand at. More on that later 🙂
I am not the religious type. I have my faith and it is unwavering, but you wouldn’t see me at mass every sunday evening or find me observing lent with the same zeal that the rest of my family does. In fact, there was an age when I religiously rebelled and didn’t go to church just because I knew it was expected of me by my parents. Suffice to say this foolishness has now graduated from one of teenage rebellion to that of convenience. Allocating 2 hours (including getting dressed,the commute back and forth and mass itself) fell at the bottom of my priority list. There was always something more pressing that needed to get done or on a rare free Sunday evening, I was loath to fill it up with a trip to church.
I know all this is very tongue in cheek and for those of you with better christian/catholic upbringing/discipline this can seem rather blasphemous even. But it is what it is. My very prim and proper parents thought it was me getting caught up in the rat race and not knowing my priorities. But no one ever asked me if it was a question of faith. Had I stopped believing? Because the answer to that is, no. I have not, I never did and never will. My faith is an essential part of me. It governs my principles, valueset and morals. All of which in turn govern my life and the way I live it. You may argue that the bible tells you to go to church and observe the sabbath and by not doing so I can’t stake a claim in living as a catholic is intended too. Or just by believing and practicing on my own terms is not ok, and that’s alright. To each his own. Society has evolved and the practice of religion should evolve along with it if retaining the younger generation is to happen. Which is why I admire the philosophies and teachings of Pope Francis. I can relate to what he says and am constantly in awe at how he has identified with current society and adapted the scripture to today’s context. His lenten message was no different to the way I lead my life on a daily basis, and all that is essentially part of what the bible asks you to do in the first place.
I may not know the verses of scripture inside out and you might find me wondering when the lords prayer became the funky rendition it is today, but for now, I’m going to go listen to the audio book of Matthew which I just downloaded onto my phone from playstore. And to me, that will suffice.
You know how little moments take you by surprise? Randomly and out of the blue?
C and I were watching a movie recently – The intern, and during the part where Anne Hathaway’s husband’s affair comes to light, C exhales deeply and exclaims “oh no”
I turn around and ask him why, he very simply said “oh but they’re married and have a kid together,it’s wrong” That sentiment came so genuinely and from the heart, I wanted to kiss him right then and there. So nonchalant and second nature. Reaffirmation that I didn’t really need, but reaffirmation nonetheless – I’ve got a good thing here.
Clearly trying to write more has proven to be futile, and this is a somewhat feeble attempt to keep the juices flowing.
C turned 35 yesterday. I think I get more excited about his birthday than he does! I generally start planning 6 months in advance, sometimes even earlier if I see something I think he’ll like. Guilty as charged, I’m a bit obsessive that way. So needless to say he was a total wet blanket when he very endearingly told me what he wanted for his present. With that goofy grin and unassuming way – I couldn’t not give in. Little did he know that my heart did a plop. I literally heard it.
So out went a really cool Bond-esque chopper ride that would take us away for a weekend and in came the boring old present in its place. Undeterred and with some malice & glee, I went and got him a flying lesson. In all honesty, C is a total aviation enthusiast. He left me bed ridden with fever (ok maybe not bed ridden per se) to go visit the Royal Air Force Museum when we were on holiday in London. Came back with bags full of miniature replicas that are now sitting on his writing table. But I digress. I got him the flying lesson very genuinely. Knowing it will knock his socks off. And it did. His reaction is on video and I can safely say the boy will now be pre-occupied with the impending flight and that one hour of living a dream he missed.
I’ll be on the sidelines watching him take off and land. I plan to video. And take lots of pics.
no one ever grows up
A blog full of humorous and poignant observations.
Writing To Cleanse My Soul
Latin for "to perceive, o separate, sift, distinguish /decide, resolve, determine".
Notes on Mirrors 